Who Clicked Unfriend: Im'ma Find You, And Stab Your Cat

Last night you celebrated, had a bit of a dance. You just reached a monumental achievement on Facebook. You just ticked over to 500 friends. You cannot believe it's happening to you, so you refresh your Facebook page to check again and again. It's like winning lotto even though you've never won but if the big stiffy in your pants is anything to go by, it's just as good if not better than winning! You go to bed with a dirty pedophile grin on your face, and wake up to sheets that only say one thing.

WET DREAM!

Time to log onto Facebook after last nights big celebration. Your jaw drops, 499 friends! This cannot be happening, you were certain that it said 500 last night. Someone has removed you from their profile. Why would someone delete you? Who was it and how will you ever know? Maybe you should keep a book of names now like a little detective!

Why do people get so cut when someone 'unfriends' them? Get over it you fucking duckface! Maybe they didn't delete you, maybe they just left Facebook and unfortunately they were a friend on your Facebook wall! How do people even keep up when some have 34682 'friends' on their profile?

The mystery of who deleted you will haunt you day and night, you will not be able to cope, think, eat or sleep until you figure out who it was. Let this pointless blog be a warning to any of you who remove me from your Facebook. I will hunt you down, turkey slap you with my ballsack and stab your cat. Then take a DUCKFACE photo in your house with no pants on!

Join us on Facebook, and unfriend us for all we care.