I COULDN'T CALL YOU AND SORT OUT OUR DOMESTIC, SO I SHARED IT WITH EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK THROUGH 30 STATUS UPDATES!

No matter how many people you have on your Facebook page, you always have at least one, maybe 36 if your unlucky. This is the person who always has a relationship problem and lets everyone know about it through continual status updates. This species is the kind that thinks they're so hard done by, the kind that is 99% of the time female around the ages of 14-25. This species only has the ability to focus on ones self and requires/craves constant attention. They acquire this by updating status updates that are dramatic and attention seeking, and boy do they work! 

Please see below for common examples:

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Within minutes they have several likes and comments. Usually the comments run along the lines of "OMG hun hope you r k babez, ill inbox ya? shud I call u? im here if you need me hun xoxoxxxxxoxooxooxoxooxooxoox" or the more generic "What happened?" and "You ok gurl". Yes the spelling is usually like that as well because these young female species are selling themselves short by burning their brains with peroxide and bending over in supre mini skirts for the boys!

A couple of pointers you should take on board before your next Facebook rant:

• The only people who care about your status updates are the friends who are as dramatic as you and do the same thing to torment their Facebook friends through self absorbed updates.

• Everyone bar these people reads your update and says out loud "For FUCK sake, GET OVER IT!" and if your unlucky you get the good old UNFRIEND button.

• Everyone who reads it rolls their eyes and thinks you're a headcase/nutjob.

The reasons you have these problems is because you surround yourself with similar people and you are unaware of the hardships, the real hardships, others go through in this world. Excuse me for being rude by worrying about poverty, natural disasters, political and economical issues. Do these people ever stop to think about why their partners cannot be with them for more than 5 minutes? A box and two knockers will only get their attention for a short time (just a tip: you're not the only one with those assets, and there are others with those who also are less dramatic).

Lastly, what drives me crazy is when these people upload their drama every day and then when people ask questions they go crazy saying "Mind your business". Wake up!!!

I rest my case.

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