The Number One Song When I Was Born

Now I have seen some stupid and pointless shit displayed on my newsfeed over the past few years, and this one is no exception. Lately I have been seeing images of cassettes displayed all over my newsfeed and wondered if I have been missing out on something important. At first I questioned myself. Have I fell behind with new trends? Am I the last one to join the cool cassette club? Jesus why am I writing a blog, I should be donning my finest mullet topped off with a pair of Dutch Clogs!


Why do we feel the need to get involved in such boring and time consuming activities on Facebook? What was so exciting or interesting about this particular application? I can only come to the conclusion that as human beings it is a fact that 95% can be compared to sheep. Oh I better click and find out the song that was number one when I was born or I will not sleep well tonight. Just google it you fucking fruit cake!


I would of loved to see Facebook users reactions on YouTube. "Mum, Mum, come here quick! Jacob's Ladder by Huey Lewis was number one when I was born". That's great, Im glad you had to know this information immediately, now mop up the mess that just came gushing out of your axe wound you weirdo.


What was more amusing is that every song that has been displayed is meant to be number one, yet none of the songs are songs people know. I am very eclectic and listen to music from all eras and genres but seriously who the fuck is Huey Lewis? Hopefully Facebook brings out a Huey Lewis application tomorrow where you can click to download his greatest hits! I've got a big fat in the pants anticipating the release, so exciting. 


A status update was uploaded onto my newsfeed which said:


"The number one song on the day I was born was Who Gives A Shit by Who Really Cares".


This really sums up what many of us were thinking and was quite amusing to say the least. Let's make sure that we are using Facebook to interact with our friends, keep in touch with loved ones and sharing moments that are nostalgic. Let's let people know when they are being gaping assholes of social media, filling our newsfeed up with useless crap and making themselves look like a microphallus.


Microphallus (n)


Definition: An unusually small penis


Analysis: Self explanatory


Alternative: Insulting a man’s private part is a very reliable way to put him down (if he’s smaller than you) or to get beat up (if he’s larger than you). Usually, even a dimwit can decipher the meaning of this word, after all, it’s just a combination of “micro” and “phallus”.



So, to insult a physically larger opponent, I recommend you use these words instead: PHALLOCRYPSIS (retraction or shrinkage of the penis), CRYPTORCHID (undescendend testicles), and PHALLONCUS (tumor of the penis).


In Summary:


In summary we can see that people actually get excited over applications on Facebook that add no value to their lives. These people secretly enjoy tormenting and annoying everyone else by adding to the garbage that clogs our newsfeed. Please think before you click next time! Don't be a hemorrhoid of social media, be strong, be responsible and be aware before you act.


Please leave any comments below. Has your newsfeed been filling up with the same cassette crap? Am I being unrealistic or have I hit the nail on the head. Don't forget to email me with status updates, images, stories or topics you want discussed on this blog by sending it to letsfckbook@hotmail.com!