When I Grow Up I Want To Be The Weather Man!

We all have these people on our Facebook. Need I say more. Also take a joke, it's all a bit of fun so have a laugh and don't get up on your high horse.

Judging by my Facebook feed apparently there is a heatwave in Perth at the moment! Usually I get my weather forecast from the morning and evening news, however I am discovering a trend emerging. Apparently everyone has quit working on the mines and have become weather forecasters, which is fantastic to see. I was starting to get worried about how I would know what the weather would be like once our current weather men and women retire! 

I understand that the heatwave was ridiculous and therefore many updates were called for. So what's the excuse of regular updates from people outlining the weather continuously. An example of a bland update regarding weather is below:

The reason I am writing about this is because for some reason whenever the weather changes people go crazy on the updates as if we couldn't figure it out ourselves. We have seen the forecast on the news, and we heard it on the radio. What makes you think your update will create some sort of revelation for your readers? I mean thanks for the heads up and all, but I have 5 senses which makes me very capable of figuring out if it is hot or not.

Generally when I walk outside I am competent enough to judge what the weather is like. Sometimes if its raining outside I go outside and see its raining. Sometimes when its sunny and hot outside I go outside and think "It's a bit warm today better apply the SPF+30". Sometimes when its autumn the leaves go orange so I don't need to be updated about what I can see. Are we starting to get the picture here? 

There is no reason to update us, just like the 65 other people who thought we had an IQ of pomegranate. It's just a wasted status update to say something stupid like "it's hot" or "it's wet outside", and if you feel the urge to give us a weather forecast make it fun and interesting.

Examples are listed below:

• This hot weather is giving me shocking chafe, however its created a mickey mouse pattern in my groin area.

• Its so cold my left testicle has frozen and I cannot poo poo.

• It's so hot outside my ovaries are sweating.

• It's so hot that my overweight co-worker is starting to smell like bacon.

Well that's all I have to say about that! Im off to play outside. It's a bit hot, fine and clear, 31 degrees celsius at 40% humidity with northerly winds of 14km/h. Thank you, that was acting.


UPDATED: Oh the irony! Look what just came up on my news feed bahaha! I would like to say the man who provided this is a great guy :D but the timing was brilliant. If your reading this please just laugh as I know you would!