POKE POKE POKE: IM'MA BE YA BABIES DADDY!

Look out adultmatchmaker, rsvp, redhotpie and all you other swinger party promoting websites, the Facebook poke is here and it's here to stay! Everyones had a Facebook poke, and if you haven't maybe you should either change your profile picture or quit being as frigid as a nun. There's nothing like a Facebook poke that says "Im going to impregnate you" or "l want to see you butt naked wrapped in cannelloni". Mmmmm cannelloni.

People don't poke others for no reason, it's to get their attention and sometimes is a way to meet new people when they aren't your friends on Facebook. So when is the poke acceptable and who can use it?

Sluts

Sluts love a good Facebook poking, it's like foreplay without the batteries. Sluts use the Facebook poke as a way of saying "Im sick of masturbating, and you have a pulse so come get me". Alternatively it's just a way of saying Im desperate, easy and may have an STI.

Religious People

If your not a sinner you can use the Facebook poke to say "Hey girl, can I trouble you for some holy water" or "Damn that sermon made me wet". Wet with holy water, you sick people. Don't worry i'll pray for your lost soul!

Drug Dealers

Drug dealing has become that little bit easier and more efficient now the Facebook poke has come into play. When your dealer pokes you, you know your hit of crack cocaine is ready for your hungry little sore ridden nose. Snort, Poke, Snort, Poke. It'll be a whole thing!

Hipsters

Hipsters love a good poking. When you get poked by a hipster it usually means "come meet us at some busy intersection where we can wear cool clothes, vintage converse shoes and set up a picnic in front of traffic looking carefree while our savers scarves flap in the wind".

Occupy Melbourne Protestors

Pokes are amazing if you have no job, direction or anything better to do than waste space while others contribute to society. If you want to start a protest of any kind poke some unemployed bum who looks like they have nothing to offer the world except over the top opinions and Centerlink payment receipts used to make paper aeroplanes. 

As you can see the Facebook poke is one of the most diverse tools to use these days, no matter who you are it has a purpose! Are pokes welcomed? Or are they just annoying and plain rude. There is only one way to find out and in a weeks time I will upload my poking video. Better get that green light working in the bedroom.

Watch this space, and join us at Facebook by clicking the follow us link at the top right where you can poke anyone including a couple of slutty fans! Alternatively you can share by using the links below, or you can do none and poke yourself in the nasty!